Where is my bailout

I am starting, well starting isn't a good word, I am neglected by the federal government. This morning the headline on the huffington post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/23/feds-consider-plan-to-res_n_145856.html was about the $306 billion Citi group bail out and it made me a little sick. It made me upset because right now I am sitting in my house, waiting for a per diem check, my cell phone is cut off because I am out of money, I have no food in my house and my loan providers are calling me off the hook. I am upset because, me, the little guy, the person who is in an unsurmountable amount of debt, the person who works really freaking hard for their measly paycheck is being harassed by the credit companies, but the people who screwed up get a bailout. If we all make mistakes, then why can't my mistakes be forgiven? I am not saying that the government owes me a dime, because they don't, but they could make it possible to bankrupt your private loans. They could ask the credit card companies and the private loan providers to lower their interest rates. I am actually really nervous about my future. Clearly, I am VERY progressive, but when does being progressive and working in nonprofit really have it's payoff. I think some people can judge or say your fucked up for working at a corporation or for shopping at walmart, but its also a privilege to be able to say, hey I make under 40,000 dollars a year AND I don't shop at walmart. I am frustrated. I am frustrated because I know I am a good person. Because instead of going and working at a bank, I choose to work at a nonprofit that would pay more if they could but they can't. It is really sad to me that dedicating your life to other peoples happiness and future can somehow lead to your financial demise. And that isn't to say that no one makes money in nonprofit, because that certainly is not true; however, comparatively, when the CEO's of these major companies are making 6 and 7 figure salaries and all I can look forward to and maybe attain is $100,000 and peace of mind ... ha thats uncomparable.

I am nervous because I might be broke for the rest of my life. Once I really start paying back these loans, once I try to buy a house and I am denied. Once I want a car and it has to be used. Is my future bleak because I wanted a career in a field I know I can't pay off my loans in? Am I going to suffer the rest of my life, because I have dedicated my life to helping others? I know there are people out there who are far worst off than me. People with law degrees who work at nonprofits, doctors who aren't paying back their 300,000 dollar loans. But it shouldn't be this way. Good people who do not have alot of money, alot of family wealth, who want to receive a decent education, who want to have a fulfilling life and work for a nonprofit shouldn't have to suffer. And banks like Citi bank shouldn't get my bailout money. I would rather that money go to a head start program for pre-kers or go to the Pell grant or a senior citizen home. I understand the logic in bailing out the banks, but it isn't fair. It isn't fair when there are people who are literally starving. It isn't fair when the price of everything goes up but my paycheck but the people who started the problems in the beginning get a bailout. I actually owe citi bank money. I have a private student loan through citi. I am sure that the interest rate is like 19% or something wild like that. And where as they are steadily getting 306 bil from the fed, I am still writing myself early perdiem checks to pay them off. Something about this doesn't seem right. Something about this doesn't seem fair. But I guess it doesn't matter. Because there is no logic is screwing people over. There are no hurt feelings in business.

Corporations are like herion dealers or cocaine pushers. They prey on peoples weaknesses. Of course most of us want nice things, and we want them because they tell us to want it through ad's and television. They tell us we will look like them if we get the product. So we do whatever it takes to get that product because we want to attain status and wealth. And we get the credit cards and we max out our loan values and we do whatever it takes, to achieve this preconceived wealth that somebody should have told us we can never achieve. And then we get it. The purse we've always wanted. Those shoes that fit so good. That suit that makes me look sharper than a mother fucker, that college education, you know you can't afford. And then, you owe them. For the rest of your life. You owe them because you wanted to be like them and now you'll suffer. And even though you already owe, youll buy MORE just to achieve this perception of wealth. Well I have stopped this nonsense. No more will I purchase things for the perception of wealth, because I don't want people to perceive me as wealthy until I am. I can't afford anything. Not even the principle on my student loans. Not even a loaf of bread. I am broke and there are people out there who are worst off than me.

But I'll tell you this much, I will get out of this, and so will alot of other people. But I hope these predators, these big business CEO's who get to fly to DC on their private jets to talk about how broke their companies are get a wake up call. The fed needs to stop bailing out big businesses who have preyed on people who just want to attain the American Dream and start reprioritizing the american people

spin