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Are You There Jah?

In my continuing to throw angsty interpretations of social norms into this blog- I now present you with a SNL short. This SNL short, like many others- is hilarious.

This is "Ras-Trent" in true imitation Rastafarian culture. I just don't know how much more I can say without just asking you to simply watch it and comment.

go go made me take an L

I was excited to tell you all some stories about my experience getting a spinal tap this week, but I feel as if this story TRUMPS the hospital story, which I can tell you at another time.

2 days ago, I had a lumbar puncture, aka a spinal tap. It is a minimally evasive procedure, never the less, you go through recovery and you have to basically lay at a 30 degree or less angle to heal your spine. Now we all know I am hard headed. My partner Lee is in a go go band and my bff Jess was in town and Sarie and Bill were in town, and we are NEVER all in town and Greg was in town, and I just wanted to see my baby perform and show my friends how awesome he is, because he is. So for those of you that don't know what go go music is, let me give you some education.

if you already know what go go is, and you want to skip to my tragic story, skip THIS section. For entertainment purposes, if you want to read me trying to explain go go, read this...


I will preface by saying that I am from Pittsburgh, and I am in no way shape or form a go go expert by any means, but because I am the Carmen, I consider myself a pseudo expert at more things, therefore, I am going to give my best attempt at explaining the coolness that is " the go go". Go Go is native to the DMV area, for those of you not paying attention that's DC, MD and VA. It starts with a live band and a live performance. Usually singers dominate every space, but in a go go group the starts of the show are the badd m-fers who can play the hell out of the percussion line, the horms and the talker, which we'll get to later. Lee's band has some serious pianist, including Lee, who is an amazing pianist. Nevertheless, Lee's band, the Touch band has about 14 negroes in it. I am saying negroes because in true black people fashion, there are about 10 real band mates, and 3 or 4 random people who used to be in the band but are kicked out or people who should be playing but because there is a democracy are not playing, despite their superiority. Nevertheless, it's like a cool ass jazz concert, but with Congo's and tambourines, cow bells and rolling drums, I think that is what their called I could be wrong. There is a pianist, a drummer, 3 singers and 2 "talkers". That isn't what they are actually called but I can't remember what Lee said they were even though he has told me more than a dozen times. Any ways, the talkers are talking about nothing. Improving whatever the singers are singing and basically just talking shit in a good way. Talking shit about the song and how great it is, talking about the sexy ladies in the club, whatever. But normally go go is a derivative of an already existing song, and then the group puts a kick ass go go beat to the attachment and then they add the talkers. So like they will play a Lil Wayne song, or super freak or whatever, and add a cow bell, some tambourines and a Congo and its a WHOLE NEW SOUND.



Now, we are back on track. So I was excited to be go go ing it up because I was with people I love and I love to see Lee sing because it's his passion to perform. Now provided I shouldn't have been out. Provided, I should have stayed my black ass in my chair and enjoyed the good music and drank my vodka tonic. But oh no. I just HAD to dance with Greg. No one else in the club was even dancing. Thats the thing. I put myself through this for no reason. Even though my back is still hurting.. no it's still tender from the spinal tap, I wanted to dance to my baby and dance because Im a G. Litter ally, no one else in the club is dancing. So im gettin it, because I am the shit. Now before I even stood up Sara told me not to do this, but did I listen? No. and my family always says, a hard head makes a soft ass. True true...

Moving forward, I was shaking my ass to a neyo song because the go go group was good and my baby was singing and I hear and feel at the same time, POP and I go nope, let me sit down. So the tenderness has shifted from my back to my side and im limpin!!! So I sat my black ass down the rest of the show and then, you know how black people get when they get a little bit of money. So this dude, im sorry, manager from Check 1 entertainment, has some acts and go two of them signed under Columbia studios. Which is fabulous, Im not hating on a black man getting paid and doing what it do. However, he made all 12-14 touch members STOP their performance to allow his two acts to come up. Now no on is even in the club anymore really but us. And they are filming shit like it's a music shoot. Let me explain what we went from, we went from Grown and Sexy ( if you don't know what that is, look it up) GO Go with some Neyo and Mary J, George Clinton and Ashanti joints, to basically some dudes that sound like 3 six mafia. and they were on FOREVER. Then there was this other dude that kinda looked and sounded like wayne, but no one is Wayne... so... anyways, the point of the story is, we leave this establishment, and I can barely move. I am all tore up. I can barely get in the car. All night I thought I dislocated my hip. But I realized, I just sprained it. Over go go. WTF Carmen! I shouldn't have been dancing anyways since I had the spinal tap, but now I am laying in my bed. Luckily Sara took care of me all day yesterday when I was hurt from the spinal tap and now Lee is making me breakfast and not making fun of me for hurting myself over GO Go. But Go Go is dangerous and I like it.




here is an example with Jill Scott, you can't deny it



Well Lee is coming up the steps to nurse me back to health, just be weary of the go go

My aversion to cabs

I'll admit it, I am lazy. Lazy in the sense that when it is raining, snowing or my heels are too high, I choose to take cabs over trains and buses. So shoot me. I am a young, black, urban woman who doesn't want to agitate my already ripe corns and I don't want to get my perm wet. My relationships with cabs became more intense when JFierce and I were living in the same city. Even though people made/make fun of us for wanting to take a cab, they usually wanted to take one too. And if they didn't, well shame on them for wanting to get somewhere in 45 minutes instead of 15.

As my relationships with Yellow Cab, Checker, DC Flyer, etc have blossomed, I have noticed on thing. They are incompetent and worthless when it is doing anything shy from sunny and clear skies. Currently, I have somewhere to go, and I called a cab. For me the experience of calling the cab company is always the worst. People are always rude, as if I am doing anything but trying keep them employed by choosing to ride instead of train. Then, if and when the cab actually does arrive, he, and I am saying he because in my experience of riding in cabs from San Francisco, to NY, DC to Philly, I have only seen about a dozen female drivers, is usually an asshole. Not a normal asshole like Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm, but an asshole in the following categories. They usually sexually harass me, and it's not that I don't want to be with a cab driver, I just don't want to say to my future children I met your daddy in a cab when he was asking me about my private parts. Sometimes they act like I don't know where the hell I am going, as if I some how forgot my address or the address to my job. But what really really really pisses me off, is when people jump into my conversation. Now, I recognize, that I am in your ride, and if you want to be all up in my convo that is fine, you are giving me a ride and thank you I appreciate it. And if I am by myself, we should certainly engage in a conversation because it's surely awkward and slightly elitist for me to not even acknowledge the person that is giving me a lift. But if I am talking to my boyfriend or friend, get out the koolaid! Eg.... gets on my nerves


I've come to grow a strong aversion towards cabs. the funny thing is, the only amazing cab system is in NYC. Now, as a NYC hater, I hate to even admit that NYC has the best of anything other than bagels, pizza, cheesecakes and black people, but their taxi system is superior because there are 400 million people between Manhattan and the boroughs and furthermore, the market is saturated. If a cabby doesn't come, f- them, I can call another.

I am writing this because me and Greg, a coworker, have an event to go to. We speed home from the airport so that we could go home, get dressed and get the hell out of the house. It is raining right now, but it isn't a thunderstorm. The apocalypse isn't here. It's sprinkling. Even the plane didn't have the much turbulence. Yet, I have had the chance to write an entire blog, brush my teeth, call another cab company AND they have called me back twice to let me know that there isn't a cab on it's way.

No one on the corner has swagga like me

I would just like to take this opportunity to say that I love this song. MIA has been out for years and people are just starting to pick up on her, which is super dope for her. The other day Kayne West at the American Music Awards was saying that he appreciates REAL artists who are going outside of ridiculous songs like anything written produced or sang by souja boy or t-pain. Please do not think I am giving Kanye credit for being profound, but you have to give the dude some credit for being creative.


Peace,

Ill post more often,


ps, Id also like to give a shout out to JFierce's blogpost last week. Since when did wearing skinny jeans make you deep and/or cool/black?

SpinDiego

My Ode Of Loathe To The Hipsters

I fucking hate hipsters. Yes that's right I said it and I'm not taking it back. You do not own Brooklyn, Berkeley, San Francisco, Seattle, Los Angeles, Washington DC or any other city. You come into the cities, the reverse of white flight and make everything kitschy and cute.

No the crack head on the corner isn't an allusion to Andy Warhol's take on the rapidly increasing urban culture in Manhattan in the 1960's- and what the hell does that mean anyways? Stop tossing around artists, and historians, and writers, and theorists as if the more you say with less words between them the more important you sound.

No the too tight, too short pants, and the overly dyed and then purposely distressed one of a kind designer label version of some vintage jeans from the 1960's are not cool. Neither are those ridiculously over-sized glasses you got from Urban Outfitters but scratched off the label so no one knows are not cool either. Or the plaid shirts, or hand me down looking print t-shirts that cost you a minimum of $30 and have your favorite witty phrase about drinking, politics, or sex. Nor is the forced awkwardness and humped shoulders and overly emotional nature.

They are a imitation of a reality that is a little too real for us working class folks of color because the real reality is that every one of US has a picture of ourselves or our parents with these exact outfits in the 60's, 70's and 80's because we lived what you're pretending to. The forced awkwardness was real. The print t-shirts left over from events long past, dad's flannel, and cousin's jeans were just that. Those glasses were the ones my mom had in her drawer but I had to change the prescription of the lenses because I was nearsighted and had an astigmatism before I could spell those words.

You can redo our classic Etta James, Nina Simone, Drifters, Supremes, Stylistics, Donnie Hathaway, and Billie Holiday all you want but all the lessons you take, all the albums you buy, and all the looks you imitate will not buy you what they all had- real soul based on real emotions because they were dealing with real shit. You think "Strange Fruit," is actually about fruit and "To Be Young, Gifted, and Black," can somehow be paralleled to the the experiences you gained growing up in the suburbs trying to define your identity against your parent's definition of you.

NO. I will not stand for it anymore. You cannot appropriate pieces of our culture and our community and our history and separate it from our black identity as if somehow doo wop just created itself. You're image, you're new culture is simply a cheap imitation of what really existed, what we really experienced.

Next time you get off the train in my neighborhood and push gentrification a little farther with each one of your steps, new stoops, and new spots realize you're wack.

That's it.

Sole Vibe on MTV U

It's difficult for artist to make it in this world. I know this because my boyfriend is an artist. I have alot of friends who are in the music biz, just trying to get their lives together. I have a friend named Mario Dones, he is in a group called the Sole Vibe. There are like at least 10 of these dudes in this group, kinda like the Wu Tang Clan without Ol' Dirty Bastard... actually nothing like that. These dudes are talented as hell and super creative. From the CA to the VA and the PA all the way down to Memphis, Sole Vibe is coming to a television near you. They got picked up by mtvu, so without further ado... the Sole Vibes Keelay and Zaire

Check K'naan out

I think that between my and my friends, I am dope enough to give musical reccomendations, so here is my first. This dude K'naan is in here. A dope hip hoper from Africa. Check it out.

Spin

Where is my bailout

I am starting, well starting isn't a good word, I am neglected by the federal government. This morning the headline on the huffington post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/23/feds-consider-plan-to-res_n_145856.html was about the $306 billion Citi group bail out and it made me a little sick. It made me upset because right now I am sitting in my house, waiting for a per diem check, my cell phone is cut off because I am out of money, I have no food in my house and my loan providers are calling me off the hook. I am upset because, me, the little guy, the person who is in an unsurmountable amount of debt, the person who works really freaking hard for their measly paycheck is being harassed by the credit companies, but the people who screwed up get a bailout. If we all make mistakes, then why can't my mistakes be forgiven? I am not saying that the government owes me a dime, because they don't, but they could make it possible to bankrupt your private loans. They could ask the credit card companies and the private loan providers to lower their interest rates. I am actually really nervous about my future. Clearly, I am VERY progressive, but when does being progressive and working in nonprofit really have it's payoff. I think some people can judge or say your fucked up for working at a corporation or for shopping at walmart, but its also a privilege to be able to say, hey I make under 40,000 dollars a year AND I don't shop at walmart. I am frustrated. I am frustrated because I know I am a good person. Because instead of going and working at a bank, I choose to work at a nonprofit that would pay more if they could but they can't. It is really sad to me that dedicating your life to other peoples happiness and future can somehow lead to your financial demise. And that isn't to say that no one makes money in nonprofit, because that certainly is not true; however, comparatively, when the CEO's of these major companies are making 6 and 7 figure salaries and all I can look forward to and maybe attain is $100,000 and peace of mind ... ha thats uncomparable.

I am nervous because I might be broke for the rest of my life. Once I really start paying back these loans, once I try to buy a house and I am denied. Once I want a car and it has to be used. Is my future bleak because I wanted a career in a field I know I can't pay off my loans in? Am I going to suffer the rest of my life, because I have dedicated my life to helping others? I know there are people out there who are far worst off than me. People with law degrees who work at nonprofits, doctors who aren't paying back their 300,000 dollar loans. But it shouldn't be this way. Good people who do not have alot of money, alot of family wealth, who want to receive a decent education, who want to have a fulfilling life and work for a nonprofit shouldn't have to suffer. And banks like Citi bank shouldn't get my bailout money. I would rather that money go to a head start program for pre-kers or go to the Pell grant or a senior citizen home. I understand the logic in bailing out the banks, but it isn't fair. It isn't fair when there are people who are literally starving. It isn't fair when the price of everything goes up but my paycheck but the people who started the problems in the beginning get a bailout. I actually owe citi bank money. I have a private student loan through citi. I am sure that the interest rate is like 19% or something wild like that. And where as they are steadily getting 306 bil from the fed, I am still writing myself early perdiem checks to pay them off. Something about this doesn't seem right. Something about this doesn't seem fair. But I guess it doesn't matter. Because there is no logic is screwing people over. There are no hurt feelings in business.

Corporations are like herion dealers or cocaine pushers. They prey on peoples weaknesses. Of course most of us want nice things, and we want them because they tell us to want it through ad's and television. They tell us we will look like them if we get the product. So we do whatever it takes to get that product because we want to attain status and wealth. And we get the credit cards and we max out our loan values and we do whatever it takes, to achieve this preconceived wealth that somebody should have told us we can never achieve. And then we get it. The purse we've always wanted. Those shoes that fit so good. That suit that makes me look sharper than a mother fucker, that college education, you know you can't afford. And then, you owe them. For the rest of your life. You owe them because you wanted to be like them and now you'll suffer. And even though you already owe, youll buy MORE just to achieve this perception of wealth. Well I have stopped this nonsense. No more will I purchase things for the perception of wealth, because I don't want people to perceive me as wealthy until I am. I can't afford anything. Not even the principle on my student loans. Not even a loaf of bread. I am broke and there are people out there who are worst off than me.

But I'll tell you this much, I will get out of this, and so will alot of other people. But I hope these predators, these big business CEO's who get to fly to DC on their private jets to talk about how broke their companies are get a wake up call. The fed needs to stop bailing out big businesses who have preyed on people who just want to attain the American Dream and start reprioritizing the american people

spin

Single Ladies?

Folks, as a fat person, I try not to make fun of other fat people too much, but this is irresistible!
Spin

What's worse- Closeted Conservatives or Passive Agressive Nonsense?

At this point you've been introduced to both Carmen and I in one way or another. So now its just time to get into it.

I just got back from California this week- for business- and through the hectic logistics, car accident, and overall madness I learned a couple of things- well more of reiterated some things I already know.

So everyone is talking about the closeted conservatives of California- shocking. No not shocking, not at all. I mean come on the Terminator is our governor, some of the richest cities and counties are located in within our borders, the Conservative revolution of the 1960's started in our version of the deep south, and we create a new proposition for each election rather than addressing issues through passing positive legislative reform. We put out fires legislatively instead of focusing on the building real infrastructure to make sure we don't have large parts of the state being burnt in the real fires that need to be put out every year. We want medicinal marijuana and free range chicken, but health care, rights for undocumented students and workers are too much of a stretch. So yes California is the state of the closeted conservative. So next time we build a propositional campaign I say we make them the targeted audience instead of preaching to the choir.

Now I understand the closeted conservative, however what continues to perplex me is something that lies not on party lines- its more of an equal opportunity hate. There is no better way to describe it than calling it passive aggressive nonsense. For example...

When you hear "What's the problem?" or "Well- what do you think we should do?" and my favorite " I mean do what you want to" these are all signs that someone is being completely passive aggressive. I know you all know this but I realized over this week that my response to passive aggressive attempts at making points result in 1 of 2 things in me: 1) Looking dumbfounded and shocked and probably appearing to be borderline offensive and 2) Repeating what you have just said back from my perspective (I.e. You mean what do you think we should do?). See the common lesson learned here is- nonsense out will only get you nonsense in return. Don't be surprised when people respond to you this way or when you get slapped in the face I mean that's "What I thought I should do," to answer your question.

And really if we're going to go the nonsensical route why not just do it upfront and out loud. It'll save us all some time, decoding, and aggression. I mean save the aggression for the bedroom- alright?

Welcome to the Jungle.

I guess I will be the first to say, welcome to our blog. Jess and I are two crazy, 20 something ,BBW, Black women who are attempting to live the big city life, while working at progressive/politic non-profit organizations. We started this blog because we both have really wild life situations that we wanted to document, but we are also dangerously cool, have great friend, and we wanted to gloat on the fact that we like really good music and that we are sexy and amazing.

I am sure that if you become a regular follower of our blog, you will come to realize that we are both wild as hell, but we have good intentions. Jess lives in New York City. I, Carmen, live in DC and yet we still manage to have equally wild experiences. From taxi cab sexual harassment to old bitches fighting on the bus, you never know what a day in the life of one of us will bring. Please feel free to comment and add to our blog, because we are like a community bicycle, everyone can get a ride.

There is a little history behind our friendship that I feel is necessary to document for the sake of understanding our relationship. We met through this cult, eh eh, organization, the United States Student Association about 3 or 4 years ago... I mean who is counting... okay I am... 3 years and 9 months. I remember the first time I saw her, we were at a conference in DC. It was March and she had on a skirt with leg warmers, being that she was from California and I am from Pittsburgh, PA, I immediately judged her. I thought what the fuck is she wearing? But as the years went on, I came to except Jessica's unique style and soon learned to embrace the fact that Jessica does not look like any one else, ever, she has her own style which is important in a world where people are striving to look like everybody else. When she started working at USSA as a staffer and I was still a student, somehow she was sent to my school to be our vote organizer, which might I add was a mistake and a blessing. A mistake because, well it was tragic, but a blessing because we became best friends. Over time, I started working at USSA and Jess and I had the priviledge of being best friends who worked in the same office. Everyday, I thank God that our friendship was able to make it through USSA, I mean we had some rough spots, some girl fights, some fucked up back stabbing moments, but we made it. Sushi, purses, Rainbow, liquor, airplanes, cars, Go-Go clubs, PG Plaza Mall, Metro are all words to describe our time together in DC. Jess helped bring out my fun side and I am her voice of reason. We just work. Even though we are different in many ways. She is vanilla and I am chocolate. She likes mayonaise, I think she is disgusiting. It works.

Jess just moved to NYC, which I cried and bitched about for about 2 months and I am still crying and bitching about, but we still try to keep our friendship intact becuase it's important. And I think that is the lesson for this post. It is really important to have a good girl friend. I think alot of women can't have girlfriends because they are too busy stabbing each other in the back and no doubt, we had a period like that. But, I think that at the end of the day, everyone needs a girl friend that they love and trust, who will call them on their shit and tell them they look beautiful. Jess calls it a sister girlfriend. I just call it a best friend. So cheers to Jess and to me, for sticking through it and welcome to our world.

It's fucked up, but at least it's comical.

Love, Peace and Hair Grease,
Spin D