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Are You There Jah?

In my continuing to throw angsty interpretations of social norms into this blog- I now present you with a SNL short. This SNL short, like many others- is hilarious.

This is "Ras-Trent" in true imitation Rastafarian culture. I just don't know how much more I can say without just asking you to simply watch it and comment.

go go made me take an L

I was excited to tell you all some stories about my experience getting a spinal tap this week, but I feel as if this story TRUMPS the hospital story, which I can tell you at another time.

2 days ago, I had a lumbar puncture, aka a spinal tap. It is a minimally evasive procedure, never the less, you go through recovery and you have to basically lay at a 30 degree or less angle to heal your spine. Now we all know I am hard headed. My partner Lee is in a go go band and my bff Jess was in town and Sarie and Bill were in town, and we are NEVER all in town and Greg was in town, and I just wanted to see my baby perform and show my friends how awesome he is, because he is. So for those of you that don't know what go go music is, let me give you some education.

if you already know what go go is, and you want to skip to my tragic story, skip THIS section. For entertainment purposes, if you want to read me trying to explain go go, read this...


I will preface by saying that I am from Pittsburgh, and I am in no way shape or form a go go expert by any means, but because I am the Carmen, I consider myself a pseudo expert at more things, therefore, I am going to give my best attempt at explaining the coolness that is " the go go". Go Go is native to the DMV area, for those of you not paying attention that's DC, MD and VA. It starts with a live band and a live performance. Usually singers dominate every space, but in a go go group the starts of the show are the badd m-fers who can play the hell out of the percussion line, the horms and the talker, which we'll get to later. Lee's band has some serious pianist, including Lee, who is an amazing pianist. Nevertheless, Lee's band, the Touch band has about 14 negroes in it. I am saying negroes because in true black people fashion, there are about 10 real band mates, and 3 or 4 random people who used to be in the band but are kicked out or people who should be playing but because there is a democracy are not playing, despite their superiority. Nevertheless, it's like a cool ass jazz concert, but with Congo's and tambourines, cow bells and rolling drums, I think that is what their called I could be wrong. There is a pianist, a drummer, 3 singers and 2 "talkers". That isn't what they are actually called but I can't remember what Lee said they were even though he has told me more than a dozen times. Any ways, the talkers are talking about nothing. Improving whatever the singers are singing and basically just talking shit in a good way. Talking shit about the song and how great it is, talking about the sexy ladies in the club, whatever. But normally go go is a derivative of an already existing song, and then the group puts a kick ass go go beat to the attachment and then they add the talkers. So like they will play a Lil Wayne song, or super freak or whatever, and add a cow bell, some tambourines and a Congo and its a WHOLE NEW SOUND.



Now, we are back on track. So I was excited to be go go ing it up because I was with people I love and I love to see Lee sing because it's his passion to perform. Now provided I shouldn't have been out. Provided, I should have stayed my black ass in my chair and enjoyed the good music and drank my vodka tonic. But oh no. I just HAD to dance with Greg. No one else in the club was even dancing. Thats the thing. I put myself through this for no reason. Even though my back is still hurting.. no it's still tender from the spinal tap, I wanted to dance to my baby and dance because Im a G. Litter ally, no one else in the club is dancing. So im gettin it, because I am the shit. Now before I even stood up Sara told me not to do this, but did I listen? No. and my family always says, a hard head makes a soft ass. True true...

Moving forward, I was shaking my ass to a neyo song because the go go group was good and my baby was singing and I hear and feel at the same time, POP and I go nope, let me sit down. So the tenderness has shifted from my back to my side and im limpin!!! So I sat my black ass down the rest of the show and then, you know how black people get when they get a little bit of money. So this dude, im sorry, manager from Check 1 entertainment, has some acts and go two of them signed under Columbia studios. Which is fabulous, Im not hating on a black man getting paid and doing what it do. However, he made all 12-14 touch members STOP their performance to allow his two acts to come up. Now no on is even in the club anymore really but us. And they are filming shit like it's a music shoot. Let me explain what we went from, we went from Grown and Sexy ( if you don't know what that is, look it up) GO Go with some Neyo and Mary J, George Clinton and Ashanti joints, to basically some dudes that sound like 3 six mafia. and they were on FOREVER. Then there was this other dude that kinda looked and sounded like wayne, but no one is Wayne... so... anyways, the point of the story is, we leave this establishment, and I can barely move. I am all tore up. I can barely get in the car. All night I thought I dislocated my hip. But I realized, I just sprained it. Over go go. WTF Carmen! I shouldn't have been dancing anyways since I had the spinal tap, but now I am laying in my bed. Luckily Sara took care of me all day yesterday when I was hurt from the spinal tap and now Lee is making me breakfast and not making fun of me for hurting myself over GO Go. But Go Go is dangerous and I like it.




here is an example with Jill Scott, you can't deny it



Well Lee is coming up the steps to nurse me back to health, just be weary of the go go

My aversion to cabs

I'll admit it, I am lazy. Lazy in the sense that when it is raining, snowing or my heels are too high, I choose to take cabs over trains and buses. So shoot me. I am a young, black, urban woman who doesn't want to agitate my already ripe corns and I don't want to get my perm wet. My relationships with cabs became more intense when JFierce and I were living in the same city. Even though people made/make fun of us for wanting to take a cab, they usually wanted to take one too. And if they didn't, well shame on them for wanting to get somewhere in 45 minutes instead of 15.

As my relationships with Yellow Cab, Checker, DC Flyer, etc have blossomed, I have noticed on thing. They are incompetent and worthless when it is doing anything shy from sunny and clear skies. Currently, I have somewhere to go, and I called a cab. For me the experience of calling the cab company is always the worst. People are always rude, as if I am doing anything but trying keep them employed by choosing to ride instead of train. Then, if and when the cab actually does arrive, he, and I am saying he because in my experience of riding in cabs from San Francisco, to NY, DC to Philly, I have only seen about a dozen female drivers, is usually an asshole. Not a normal asshole like Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm, but an asshole in the following categories. They usually sexually harass me, and it's not that I don't want to be with a cab driver, I just don't want to say to my future children I met your daddy in a cab when he was asking me about my private parts. Sometimes they act like I don't know where the hell I am going, as if I some how forgot my address or the address to my job. But what really really really pisses me off, is when people jump into my conversation. Now, I recognize, that I am in your ride, and if you want to be all up in my convo that is fine, you are giving me a ride and thank you I appreciate it. And if I am by myself, we should certainly engage in a conversation because it's surely awkward and slightly elitist for me to not even acknowledge the person that is giving me a lift. But if I am talking to my boyfriend or friend, get out the koolaid! Eg.... gets on my nerves


I've come to grow a strong aversion towards cabs. the funny thing is, the only amazing cab system is in NYC. Now, as a NYC hater, I hate to even admit that NYC has the best of anything other than bagels, pizza, cheesecakes and black people, but their taxi system is superior because there are 400 million people between Manhattan and the boroughs and furthermore, the market is saturated. If a cabby doesn't come, f- them, I can call another.

I am writing this because me and Greg, a coworker, have an event to go to. We speed home from the airport so that we could go home, get dressed and get the hell out of the house. It is raining right now, but it isn't a thunderstorm. The apocalypse isn't here. It's sprinkling. Even the plane didn't have the much turbulence. Yet, I have had the chance to write an entire blog, brush my teeth, call another cab company AND they have called me back twice to let me know that there isn't a cab on it's way.

No one on the corner has swagga like me

I would just like to take this opportunity to say that I love this song. MIA has been out for years and people are just starting to pick up on her, which is super dope for her. The other day Kayne West at the American Music Awards was saying that he appreciates REAL artists who are going outside of ridiculous songs like anything written produced or sang by souja boy or t-pain. Please do not think I am giving Kanye credit for being profound, but you have to give the dude some credit for being creative.


Peace,

Ill post more often,


ps, Id also like to give a shout out to JFierce's blogpost last week. Since when did wearing skinny jeans make you deep and/or cool/black?

SpinDiego